The road less traveled…

My partner and I were attempting to become pregnant. For many reasons – including my sanity – we have put that on the back burner for now and are just working on walking down the road less traveled. We've been through Katrina – moved to Colorado – and our next adventure is headed to California.

Lori is home :) March 1, 2011

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 7:06 am
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I picked her up yesterday after work and we went to have sushi for her celebration of freedom dinner. 🙂

She seems well and we talked a lot about how we need to communicate better in order to prevent this from happening again (which is a huge fear of mine). She promises to tell me when she’s getting to that point and I promise to listen.

She also reassured me that she wants nothing more than to continue TTC with me. 🙂 Honestly at the last post I wasn’t sure that was going to continue to be a possibility.

So the plan is, get a therapist for her so she can relieve these anxieties and get a therapist for US so we can learn how to cope as a couple with her health issues in a better way.

Nonetheless, it was nice sleeping next to her again last night.

 

Sorry for my lack of posting.. February 26, 2011

Filed under: Doctor,Family,Pain — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 10:48 am
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First I want to thank all of you who commented on my last couple of posts.  It’s very healing to read that there are other people who really care about how you are doing.  Especially in this situation because not many of our real life friends even know what’s going on with Lori so, while I do have my besties (you know who are are) it’s nice to be able to vent here as well.

Secondly, I want to apologize for my lack of comments on your blogs lately.  I finally got caught up reading them all, but I have yet to sit down and congratulate or commiserate with anyone.  I’m so far behind that you should consider this a blanket I’m sorry or Congratulations where it is due!  Trust me, I’m reading and I feel real joy or sorrow when I read your postings.

We’re still pretty much in the same place we were in the last time I posted.  The doc did say that if all goes well we’ll have a family session on Monday and she may be able to come home then.  Right now I’m just trying to keep myself busy around the house (it’s amazing how quickly it becomes a mess just by not doing your nightly pick up) so that I can keep my own sanity.

Anyway, back to the spot bot and my new vacuum – Thanks Ladies – you really mean so much

 

Protected: Yay for more waiting… February 22, 2011

Filed under: Hurt,Pain,TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 3:09 pm
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Anniversary Outing and an OMG moment August 19, 2010

Filed under: Family,TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 10:13 am
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Lori and I went out to the movies last night.  It was our 6th anniversary and we saw Salt (Fantastic movie, by the way.).  While out I got the weirdest feeling -I COULD BE PREGNANT in less than a month!! HOLY SHIT!!  While I’m very excited to get this process moving forward, it just seems so weird to me.  When Lori and I got together, I basically wrote off the possibility of ever getting pregnant because it wasn’t something that Lori wanted to do.  Now that it’s here, it just seems so surreal.  I’ve also found that I’m completely obsessed with reading other lesbian couple’s pregnancy blogs.  It consumes my whole day (good thing I’m great at my job and am already at quota).  Speaking of that – my job – oh man I have to start saving vacation/sick time.  Why am I getting obsessed when it hasn’t even begun???

I’m also fairly obsessed with looking at baby items online.  What if it jinxes me?  What if it takes forever to get pregnant?  What if I have to do IUI?  What if I have to do IVF?  What if I can’t afford to even get pregnant – because Goodness Knows my insurance won’t cover ANY of it.

Then that moves me into – what if I can’t afford the kid when it gets here? (mind you my financial situation is FANTASTIC, so there’s no reason to worry at all).  My mind still finds all the possible things that could go wrong.  What if I lose my job?  What if I can’t give my child what it needs?  What if I pass along my obsessiveness/depression?  What if something terrible happens to my child like happened to me when I was a little girl…..

So, update on the donor situation – We chose our options yesterday.  Midwest sent me a MASSIVELY OUTDATED donor list, and everyone I picked was not available.  We decided to go with NorthWest Andrology & Cryobank out of Seattle Washington.  The cost is a little higher, but they have up to date donor profiles.  Our four options, in this order, are #340, #439, #8765G, and #1002.  I also like that they will send them to you for home insemination without having to go through a doctor’s office or get a referral/approval from my primary.  I went online today and ordered long profiles for all 4 of them – so it’s possible that the actual order changes.

That’s the end of that one – Gotta actually attempt to do some work.  God help me if they do a search to see what I’ve been searching on my work computer lately…..UGH

 

The rest of the story… August 13, 2010

Filed under: Family,TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 12:47 pm
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I met Lori in the Summer of 2004.  We worked together in New Orleans and hung out at the same bar.  I was semi-closeted and she was newly out.  We became buddies fast – she was in a relationship and I was in something (whatever you want to call it) with someone at the time.

Eventually she and her girlfriend broke it off and I finally figured out that just because I was in a long distance relationship didn’t mean that I wasn’t lesbian.  Inaccessible relationships are safer than real ones when you are semi-closeted. We went out one night and she came home with me (was my Designated Driver).  She was supposed to be a one night stand, but as you can see she just hasn’t left (nor would I ever want her to!!).

Our one year anniversary brought much happiness and much anxiety.  We went to Biloxi to celebrate and she asked me to marry her.  A wondrous occasion was slammed 1 week later when Katrina came through and tore our world apart.  We stayed in a camper with my family until December of 2005 when we moved up to Colorado.  Life has pretty much been a dream since then (with a few bumps of course).

Throughout our relationship we have discussed having children (correction – a child).  For a time Lori was against it because she felt her age made it very difficult to have a child.  She didn’t want to have a child graduating high school when she was in her 60s.  Recently it has come up again and she’s all for it.  We’ve been discussing it for a few months, but my little cousin coming down with her baby pretty much sealed the deal.  I made an appointment with the doctor as soon as she was headed back home to LA.

I left work early to go to my doctor’s appointment – full of excitement.  Lori and I are sitting in the waiting room when another lesbian couple comes by to visit the nurses with their perfect little baby boy.  Our excitement grew as we walked back to the consultation room.  The doctor came in, however, and pretty much crushed my hope.  She went over my medical history and then lectured me for 45 minutes about my weight.  If you didn’t notice by the picture above, I’m quite a bit overweight.  She first suggested that I have Gastric Bypass Surgery and than when I told her that we were looking to do this fairly quickly that I look into Adoption. Obviously she’ doesn’t know anything about adoption an the time it takes to do that if she is suggesting that I use adoption to get a child quickly.  After we got through that, she goes into what she wants to do for me.  First is an ultrasound to check for blockages to my Fallopian Tubes.  Then Clomid shots each month and an ultrasound each month to see the eggs + the cost of sperm and insemination (Basically around $1500.00).  Still there’s only a 10% chance of conceiving. Now, we aren’t poor by any means, but we certainly don’t have $1500.00 a month to throw around. My question is, WHY are we immediately jumping to all of the assistance in this.  My infertility issue is that I DON’T HAVE SPERM?? Really, all I need you to do is put itup in there to begin with. IF there’s an issue after that, THEN we can get more aggressive.

Anyway – we’ve now decided we’re just going to do this at home.  There are plenty of home insemination kits and sperm banks out there.  I also found a really cool site called Fertility Friend that will help me to track my ovulation.

So – after all that – Let the Journey Begin!!

 

 
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