The road less traveled…

My partner and I were attempting to become pregnant. For many reasons – including my sanity – we have put that on the back burner for now and are just working on walking down the road less traveled. We've been through Katrina – moved to Colorado – and our next adventure is headed to California.

8 DPI… February 3, 2011

Filed under: 2WW — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 4:01 pm
Tags: , , ,

…and getting more anxious to test by the minute.

The plan is to wait until NEXT Friday to do the test (2-11-11), but I doubt that I’m going to make it that far.  I should be able to test with an early HPT by even Tuesday, but of course I found this article online and now I don’t know if I WANT to test/know early!  This excerpt is what worries me:

The down side is the expense of repetetive testing and the anxiety that it can cause. If you test for pregnancy before a missed period, you will pick up chemical pregnancies. This occurs when the sperm does meet the egg and pregnancy is established, but it is not a good pregnancy (most often a chromosomal problem in the embryo) and is lost very early on. Without early testing this cycle may be normal, slightly delayed, or heavier. Up to 50% of pregnancies diagnosed before the missed period end in miscarraige.

Now there is a side of me that is like, WTF!! Who wrote that?  Where is the study that shows those numbers?  Is that a doctor’s point of view?  “Up to” 50%, does that mean 47% or 5%?  This is from the internet, where anyone can write anything, but what if it’s true?  I don’t want to detect a chemical pregnancy and be even more devastated, BLAH!

I’m keeping my head positive – PUPO I am – but the rational side of me keeps wavering back and forth wildly.  One second I’m absolutely certain that I’m pregnant, and the next I’m absolutely certain that I am not.  I can say that I do feel different this time than the last times at home, but this really could be simply because I know that it was DONE differently so I’m psyching myself out differently.

Being a psychology student is so difficult – you can recognize your irrational thoughts and understand they are irrational, but can’t stop them anyway!

So – I’ve changed my background on my work computer to be a slideshow of photos that I’ve found across the net of sleeping babes.  When I do have this baby, he/she is going to have a MILLION PHOTOS taken of him/her – just like these!

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