I met Lori in the Summer of 2004. We worked together in New Orleans and hung out at the same bar. I was semi-closeted and she was newly out. We became buddies fast – she was in a relationship and I was in something (whatever you want to call it) with someone at the time.
Eventually she and her girlfriend broke it off and I finally figured out that just because I was in a long distance relationship didn’t mean that I wasn’t lesbian. Inaccessible relationships are safer than real ones when you are semi-closeted. We went out one night and she came home with me (was my Designated Driver). She was supposed to be a one night stand, but as you can see she just hasn’t left (nor would I ever want her to!!).
Our one year anniversary brought much happiness and much anxiety. We went to Biloxi to celebrate and she asked me to marry her. A wondrous occasion was slammed 1 week later when Katrina came through and tore our world apart. We stayed in a camper with my family until December of 2005 when we moved up to Colorado. Life has pretty much been a dream since then (with a few bumps of course).
Throughout our relationship we have discussed having children (correction – a child). For a time Lori was against it because she felt her age made it very difficult to have a child. She didn’t want to have a child graduating high school when she was in her 60s. Recently it has come up again and she’s all for it. We’ve been discussing it for a few months, but my little cousin coming down with her baby pretty much sealed the deal. I made an appointment with the doctor as soon as she was headed back home to LA.
I left work early to go to my doctor’s appointment – full of excitement. Lori and I are sitting in the waiting room when another lesbian couple comes by to visit the nurses with their perfect little baby boy. Our excitement grew as we walked back to the consultation room. The doctor came in, however, and pretty much crushed my hope. She went over my medical history and then lectured me for 45 minutes about my weight. If you didn’t notice by the picture above, I’m quite a bit overweight. She first suggested that I have Gastric Bypass Surgery and than when I told her that we were looking to do this fairly quickly that I look into Adoption. Obviously she’ doesn’t know anything about adoption an the time it takes to do that if she is suggesting that I use adoption to get a child quickly. After we got through that, she goes into what she wants to do for me. First is an ultrasound to check for blockages to my Fallopian Tubes. Then Clomid shots each month and an ultrasound each month to see the eggs + the cost of sperm and insemination (Basically around $1500.00). Still there’s only a 10% chance of conceiving. Now, we aren’t poor by any means, but we certainly don’t have $1500.00 a month to throw around. My question is, WHY are we immediately jumping to all of the assistance in this. My infertility issue is that I DON’T HAVE SPERM?? Really, all I need you to do is put itup in there to begin with. IF there’s an issue after that, THEN we can get more aggressive.
Anyway – we’ve now decided we’re just going to do this at home. There are plenty of home insemination kits and sperm banks out there. I also found a really cool site called Fertility Friend that will help me to track my ovulation.
So – after all that – Let the Journey Begin!!