The road less traveled…

My partner and I were attempting to become pregnant. For many reasons – including my sanity – we have put that on the back burner for now and are just working on walking down the road less traveled. We've been through Katrina – moved to Colorado – and our next adventure is headed to California.

Left Behind December 2, 2013

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 9:57 am
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It’s probably the holidays mixed in with all the Baby Drama going on in my life, but I’ve been feeling nostalgic lately.  I went back through my old social media accounts (did you know MySpace still EXISTS?!) and found some old comments/photos. 

It was supposed to make me remember all the great things that I’ve had the chance to do and all the people that I’ve done them with. 

Instead, I found myself feeling left behind.

I noticed that many people that I went to school with have long “unfriended” me – Not those that I really considered friends, but those that were part of my group in high school.  It’s strange because they have all stuck together.  It was so silently that they removed me from their lives – I guess at some point you just become so far removed from someone that they replace you with more current things.

They’re all married to men with great jobs – every single one of them has had at least one child who is now taking their first day of preschool/kindergarten photos with huge bows in their hair.  Some are even on number 2.

Here I am childless at almost 30 – They can’t even relate to me.

I grew up in Southern Louisiana.  “Not married” and childless at 30 is a big deal.

Sometimes I wonder if I went down the wrong path.  Maybe this is not where I belong at all.  Maybe I’d be happier if I had followed the same path as everyone else.  Found a nice man to settle down with, pretended that I was straight, had a baby.  Maybe I could have played the stay at home, no career, submissive role and let someone just take care of me like the southern belles I see in their photos.  These ladies who wear their sundresses and big bows and have gatherings where everyone is actually wearing real clothes and have perfect stainless kitchens with an island (not in their PJ’s with food in aluminum foil containers with not enough seating for everyone).  Maybe if I weren’t so bullheaded and strong minded and stubborn.  Maybe if I didn’t feel the need to portray myself as someone who has all her shit together.  Maybe I wouldn’t be stressing over bills and sales and quotas and jobs and infertility if I had just done the typical thing.

I’m tired of being sad…

I feel like my life is stagnant. That I’m stalling out and I’ve missed the boat.  I feel like I’ve been forgotten – lost – left.  I feel completely insignificant in the world.

Simply Left Behind.

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Was that the weekend?? December 13, 2010

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 7:11 am
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First things first, please jump on over to Marinating on life – Defining family and congratulate their BFP!!

Also, over at 2 Chicks 1 Hatchling the ladies just welcomed their baby girl into the world!

Congrats to both of you on making it to these milestones in your journeys!

Oh man do I feel like we didn’t even have a break! Saturday was spent getting ready for our Cajun Christmas Celebration (which, by the way, went WONDERFULLY! – pictures to come) and Sunday was spent cleaning up the mess. Now I find myself here on Monday morning wondering if that really was the weekend and now I have to wait 5 more days to get a real break!?!?!

Our therapy session for the doc is tomorrow at 8:30.  I’m not feeling near as nervous about it as I was previously.  It is what it is I suppose.  I love that it brings us one step closer to having our little one!

 

TGIF!! December 10, 2010

Filed under: Family — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 7:51 am
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Oh how I love Fridays!!  Just have to make it through a few more hours and I’m FREE for the weekend! I’m even more excited this week because tomorrow is our 2nd Annual Cajun Christmas Celebration! So far there are about 15 people confirmed to be there, and I’m sure some who were invited who didn’t respond to our little event page on FB. I love having everyone over to our house, however I have a TON of stuff that I need to do before tomorrow afternoon

  • put the bedroom door back on its hinges – we had to remove it when we bought our new bed
  • steam clean the carpet (yay for having dogs!)
  • clean out the garage for the smokers
  • wrap our white elephant gifts
    • I’ll have pictures of them after the party!
  • cook a TON of food
    • Cajun Ham, Red Beans and Rice, Gumbo, Jambalaya
  • bring in our tables and set up the spread
  • hopefully have our Landlord come out to fix/replace our dryer that isn’t working – I’m down to the last of my good clothes and moving on to the ones that are in the back of my closet because I HATE them.
  • final touches for decorations
  • dress the pups in their little Christmas outfits!
  • have time to take a shower and get dressed???

I have NO IDEA how all of that is going to get done. ESPECIALLY when Lori’s FOOT IS BROKEN! Yes, you read that right.  She ran over her foot with her scooter and fractured it in 2 places.  There’s also a deep tissue contusion.  She’s got to wear a big boot now for the next 3-4 weeks.  I’m at least thankful that it will be off for Florida (would suck to be on the beach wearing a huge medical boot!).  This is the 4th time in 5 years that she’s broken her foot somehow.  She’s done everything from slip on ice to dropping a gallon of milk on them.

Anyway – time to get to work.

 

 

Renewed Faith! August 16, 2010

Filed under: Doctor,TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 7:49 am
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It’s been a busy weekend!!  We had Jenn’s wedding/reception and ended up out at the Stampede where I got sloshed (won’t be doing that much longer 🙂 ).  All in all it was a great time with really great friends.  How did I get so lucky?

Sunday we went over to Karla’s house for dinner.  She had her first baby 3 years ago via IUI (intrauterine insemination) and is pregnant with her 2nd.  We told her about our doctor’s appointment and she was just as appalled as we were (thank God we weren’t over-reacting).  She recommended her doctor (she’s overweight and up in age) for us to see.  I think we’re going to attempt to do it at home still first, but if that doesn’t work after 3 tries we’ll look into seeing her doc.

According to my tracker in my phone, I should be ovulating today.  Looks like next month will be the first attempt!

 

 
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