The road less traveled…

My partner and I were attempting to become pregnant. For many reasons – including my sanity – we have put that on the back burner for now and are just working on walking down the road less traveled. We've been through Katrina – moved to Colorado – and our next adventure is headed to California.

Anxiety! October 11, 2013

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 12:39 pm
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All of a sudden today I have a massive amount of anxiety that I can’t seem to get under control…I feel like this option is simply too easy and that something terrible is going to go wrong and derail the entire thing.

Ugh – wish I could shut my head up!

Our chart is not perfect for this month, but I’m hoping that everything goes well for next month and we are a one hit wonder for this pregnancy to happen.  But I can’t shake this feeling that the world is about to crash around me…

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CD7 September 30, 2013

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 10:14 am
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Though we will not be inseminating this month, we are tracking her period and today is CD 7.  So far a pretty little FF chart for me to follow so I can start my usual obsession.

FF

We had a sit down conversation with our family on Friday Afternoon and it went fairly well.  Most of the family showed up – which was awesome! It was really nice to have everyone in the same room for the first time in a while.  The only person who didn’t make it who was supposed to be there was J’s mom.  (J is the cousin that will be the surrogate for us).  J’s mom called about 6 pm to say she couldn’t make it because she had some medication she had to take at 8PM on the dot and it was just not something she was going to be able to do. I let her know it was up to her but it would probably be something she would want to attend.  We ended with me telling her we’d call her when we talked to the family.

Being honest, she’s the only person I’m worried about.   The first thing she did when we told everyone was bring up how hard it was going to be for J to be able to carry a child for 9 months and then “give it away”.  She definitely made it a bit about herself and said that she had thought about doing it for 2 years in the past for her sister but just couldn’t see herself giving the child up.  She then wanted to know if she was going to be grandma (or MiMi as her grandchildren call her).  We let her know that no, she would be Aunt B – and she then asked if she could be Aunt MiMi.  I think it’s going to take her some time to realize that she is not a grandmother to this child – this child is being created for and by Shayne and I, J is simply babysitting for a while (J’s words, BTW – just love it!).  I don’t want my mother’s moment as a Grandma (MawMaw as we call them down in the south) to be stepped on by J’s Mom.  The fastest way to get me to become a crazy person is to hurt my mom.  Of course it’s still really early in the process and It will all shake out as the months go by.  I’m certain at some point there will be a come to Jesus meeting again.

So anyway – the plan so far is to track this month and inseminate next – which would put the insemination happening around the 5th of November (and Shayne and I heading on a cruise on the 11th will help with me driving J crazy during the 2ww).

So – here’s to a crazy next 2 months and hopefully a 1 hit wonder pregnancy and perfect timing for a baby next August!

9-30-13

 

I hate fertility friend… November 12, 2010

Filed under: 2WW — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 8:04 am
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     I really do.  I hate it because it’s a stupid obsession that I cannot get rid of.  I hate it because I try to find charts like mine and it’s showing a 5% chance that I’m pregnant and a 95% chance that this was an ovulatory cycle.  I hate it because I’m trying not to believe it, but if that is the case then what’s the point of taking my damned temperature every morning.
        I also hate that I don’t feel any symptoms – nothing – and I really don’t think that I’m pregnant.  Which means we spent 1K on sperm for nothing and I’m going to end up having to go to a doctor and I can’t really afford the sperm AND all the crap the doctor wants to do.  I hate that I was on Facebook yesterday and EVERYONE is pregnant.  My old high school friends are all pregnant.  I watched a sideshow of a friends labor and delivery and cried all the way through it.  

I hate it because I feel extremely defeated right now and FF is supposed to comfort me….

 

And we have crosshairs – FML October 12, 2010

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 5:38 am
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Seriously?  NO + OPK and I have crosshairs 3 days ago and I JUST got my swimmers???
 
Worthless…
 

UGH!! October 11, 2010

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 8:11 am
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OK – I havent gotten a smiley, but I’m afraid I’ve ovulated already!!

I’m using FF now (like I said, another thing to obsess over) and I’m looking at my chart today.  Looks like my temp drop was on Saturday!  CD 11!  WHAT??  I don’t have cross hairs yet, but all I need is one more day of temps above 96.3 to confirm.  If this is true, my swimmers that are arriving today are USELESS and this month is a BUST!!

Seriously, I may just cry.  How I can possibly fuck up and send the swimmers late and/or ovulate early is beyond me.  My period is VERY regular….how does my ovulation occur at CD 16 one month and CD 11 the next??

Ugh…

 

CD 10 – High Fertility October 8, 2010

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 10:46 am
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So according to my CBE Fertility Monitor, I’m on High Fertility.  This is a little concerning because it’s awfully early for it to be high.  I haven’t gotten a surge with my smiley OPK, but I’m worried that our swimmers won’t come in time (they’ll be here on Monday).

I’ve been trying to remember to take my BBT.  My alarm clock actually says “Don’t forget to take your temperature!”  For some reason, I get up and go straight to the bathroom to POAS but taking my temp isn’t as easy to remember.  I didn’t start till 2 days ago, so I hope that it actually helps me.  I’m now a member of FF (Fertility Friend) so that’s one more thing I can obsess over.

I want a baby so badly it hurts…. 

We went window shopping yesterday and ended up in the baby section of Old Navy.  It took every thing I had not to lose it in the store.  It’s like this overwhelming ache in my chest. Of course we got completely lost in the baby section and lost all track of time.  I’m tearing up just thinking about it.

Anyway, the wordle for the day is:

 

 

 

So Exciting! October 4, 2010

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 2:14 pm
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          I got to POAS for the first time this cycle today.  WOOHOO!!  I also ordered my swimmers, which will arrive Oct 11.  We only ordered 1 vial this time – the way I see it if it is meant to be then it will happen.  My friend S told me that the egg I released last month just wasn’t the baby that was meant for me.  I gotta say, I like thinking about it like that.  Hopefully this little egg is the little one we’re meant to share our life with.
And the wordle for the day is:

 

 
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