The road less traveled…

My partner and I were attempting to become pregnant. For many reasons – including my sanity – we have put that on the back burner for now and are just working on walking down the road less traveled. We've been through Katrina – moved to Colorado – and our next adventure is headed to California.

Lori is home :) March 1, 2011

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 7:06 am
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I picked her up yesterday after work and we went to have sushi for her celebration of freedom dinner. 🙂

She seems well and we talked a lot about how we need to communicate better in order to prevent this from happening again (which is a huge fear of mine). She promises to tell me when she’s getting to that point and I promise to listen.

She also reassured me that she wants nothing more than to continue TTC with me. 🙂 Honestly at the last post I wasn’t sure that was going to continue to be a possibility.

So the plan is, get a therapist for her so she can relieve these anxieties and get a therapist for US so we can learn how to cope as a couple with her health issues in a better way.

Nonetheless, it was nice sleeping next to her again last night.

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Sorry for my lack of posting.. February 26, 2011

Filed under: Doctor,Family,Pain — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 10:48 am
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First I want to thank all of you who commented on my last couple of posts.  It’s very healing to read that there are other people who really care about how you are doing.  Especially in this situation because not many of our real life friends even know what’s going on with Lori so, while I do have my besties (you know who are are) it’s nice to be able to vent here as well.

Secondly, I want to apologize for my lack of comments on your blogs lately.  I finally got caught up reading them all, but I have yet to sit down and congratulate or commiserate with anyone.  I’m so far behind that you should consider this a blanket I’m sorry or Congratulations where it is due!  Trust me, I’m reading and I feel real joy or sorrow when I read your postings.

We’re still pretty much in the same place we were in the last time I posted.  The doc did say that if all goes well we’ll have a family session on Monday and she may be able to come home then.  Right now I’m just trying to keep myself busy around the house (it’s amazing how quickly it becomes a mess just by not doing your nightly pick up) so that I can keep my own sanity.

Anyway, back to the spot bot and my new vacuum – Thanks Ladies – you really mean so much

 

8 DPI… February 3, 2011

Filed under: 2WW — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 4:01 pm
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…and getting more anxious to test by the minute.

The plan is to wait until NEXT Friday to do the test (2-11-11), but I doubt that I’m going to make it that far.  I should be able to test with an early HPT by even Tuesday, but of course I found this article online and now I don’t know if I WANT to test/know early!  This excerpt is what worries me:

The down side is the expense of repetetive testing and the anxiety that it can cause. If you test for pregnancy before a missed period, you will pick up chemical pregnancies. This occurs when the sperm does meet the egg and pregnancy is established, but it is not a good pregnancy (most often a chromosomal problem in the embryo) and is lost very early on. Without early testing this cycle may be normal, slightly delayed, or heavier. Up to 50% of pregnancies diagnosed before the missed period end in miscarraige.

Now there is a side of me that is like, WTF!! Who wrote that?  Where is the study that shows those numbers?  Is that a doctor’s point of view?  “Up to” 50%, does that mean 47% or 5%?  This is from the internet, where anyone can write anything, but what if it’s true?  I don’t want to detect a chemical pregnancy and be even more devastated, BLAH!

I’m keeping my head positive – PUPO I am – but the rational side of me keeps wavering back and forth wildly.  One second I’m absolutely certain that I’m pregnant, and the next I’m absolutely certain that I am not.  I can say that I do feel different this time than the last times at home, but this really could be simply because I know that it was DONE differently so I’m psyching myself out differently.

Being a psychology student is so difficult – you can recognize your irrational thoughts and understand they are irrational, but can’t stop them anyway!

So – I’ve changed my background on my work computer to be a slideshow of photos that I’ve found across the net of sleeping babes.  When I do have this baby, he/she is going to have a MILLION PHOTOS taken of him/her – just like these!

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The Deed is done! January 26, 2011

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 12:40 pm
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OMG I made it through! Swimmers are swimming and I”m set to go into the revised time for our Meeting in about 30 minutes. Who thinks I’ll actually be able to pay attention?

Countdown till testing:
14 days



 

Update on my Dilemma January 25, 2011

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 3:45 pm
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I’m going to go. I’ve asked one of my really good friends to come with me for moral support (BTW, doesn’t matter how good of a friend you are with someone, that is an AWKWARD conversation :)).

I have to call at 10 AM and the appointment is 10:40 AM. I’m so nervous! I’m the type that’s nervous about anything going on in that area, so this is going to be interesting. Lori is sad that she can’t come, but says that it’s just our luck that it will work the time she isn’t there – so sounds like a good plan to me!

Isa, I’d do it in the hospital with no qualms, but this one is doctor assisted so I have to go to the office. Probably TMI, but I’m ready to jump her bones in the hospital bed already 🙂

 

Dilemma *update*

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 11:48 am
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OK – I got my smiley today. The problem with that is Lori is still in the hospital – the problem with that is I don’t want to go alone. I don’t want to go alone because I’m terrified, and I don’t want to go alone because I want Lori to be there with me! I don’t want to NOT go because I DO NOT want to wait a whole other month to do this!

ugh!

*update* For the record, Lori wants me to go…

 

Update January 24, 2011

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 4:31 pm
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Lori is doing much better – she has a staph infection (yay) and is getting treatment for that and nerve damage pain in her back caused by the blood clots. Sounds like so far we have no new major hurdles and will be able to get home as soon as the medicine for the staph infection gets to doing it’s job!

TTC – CD 11 – no smiley

 

 
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