…and getting more anxious to test by the minute.
The plan is to wait until NEXT Friday to do the test (2-11-11), but I doubt that I’m going to make it that far. I should be able to test with an early HPT by even Tuesday, but of course I found this article online and now I don’t know if I WANT to test/know early! This excerpt is what worries me:
The down side is the expense of repetetive testing and the anxiety that it can cause. If you test for pregnancy before a missed period, you will pick up chemical pregnancies. This occurs when the sperm does meet the egg and pregnancy is established, but it is not a good pregnancy (most often a chromosomal problem in the embryo) and is lost very early on. Without early testing this cycle may be normal, slightly delayed, or heavier. Up to 50% of pregnancies diagnosed before the missed period end in miscarraige.
Now there is a side of me that is like, WTF!! Who wrote that? Where is the study that shows those numbers? Is that a doctor’s point of view? “Up to” 50%, does that mean 47% or 5%? This is from the internet, where anyone can write anything, but what if it’s true? I don’t want to detect a chemical pregnancy and be even more devastated, BLAH!
I’m keeping my head positive – PUPO I am – but the rational side of me keeps wavering back and forth wildly. One second I’m absolutely certain that I’m pregnant, and the next I’m absolutely certain that I am not. I can say that I do feel different this time than the last times at home, but this really could be simply because I know that it was DONE differently so I’m psyching myself out differently.
Being a psychology student is so difficult – you can recognize your irrational thoughts and understand they are irrational, but can’t stop them anyway!
So – I’ve changed my background on my work computer to be a slideshow of photos that I’ve found across the net of sleeping babes. When I do have this baby, he/she is going to have a MILLION PHOTOS taken of him/her – just like these!