Why do I feel like every time I get omn here to write a post I’m in a pissy mood and it’s a complete whine?
- I hate my job…no….really…I absolutely hate it. I love what I do and the people I work with, but I hate the management style and I hate the stress that it causes me. I hate that my paycheck seems to be getting smaller and smaller at a time when I have to bring in the money or we are going to sink. I hate that I’m forced to make decisions based on information that is incorrect – then when the correct information comes out I’m stuck with a decision that I would have made completely differently had I had the ENTIRE story when I was forced to make it. Since none of you would understand if I gave specifics, I’m just going to leave it at that.
- I’m massively stressed about money. Part of it is because of #1, and part of it is because we are now officially on Disability with Lori’s job. Now, she did work for an amazing company that is giving her much more than most would, but it’s scary to be in this spot officially.
- We are still on a break – and I’m not moving in the right direction for my weight goal. I’m just upset about the whole thing. I don’t know when we will be able to get started again (again because of money mostly) and I don’t know when we will be able to be any closer to having a child. I’m in a huge funk because of it, and I don’t know what else I can tell myself to get out of it. I’m tired of hearing that it will happen when the time is right and I’m tired of telling myself that it will happen the next time, just to have the next time flop. I’m tired of finding out that friends of friends who are in there TEENS and not prepared one bit to have a child are pregnant by ACCIDENT. I’m tired of watching a specific friend who had a child by an abusive man not listen to me when I tell her that she has the DUTY to get her child out of a bad situation. I’m just tired.
I’m just sad…extremely sad…and I don’t know what to do about it. I feel like there’s something on my chest that’s making it hard to breathe.