The road less traveled…

My partner and I were attempting to become pregnant. For many reasons – including my sanity – we have put that on the back burner for now and are just working on walking down the road less traveled. We've been through Katrina – moved to Colorado – and our next adventure is headed to California.

I have questions!!! December 16, 2010

Filed under: TTC — 2Lesbians&Baby @ 8:04 am

Yay!

OK.  Isa over at small obsessions sent over a couple.

1. What site were you getting your tarot done at?

I can’t believe that I didn’t include the link there??  It’s here.  Sometimes it seems like they know and stalk you are something with how accurate they get.

2. how many kids do you want eventually?  Do you both agree on that, or have you had to discuss it?

This is a really great question. I’ve always wanted a child – only one.  I grew up in a family with 3 kids and have never had the desire to have a large family.  I want to be able to make sure that I can provide for my child things that I wasn’t able to have when I was small.  My Mother and step-father divorced at 12 (my biological father has never been in the picture, but that’s a topic for another post) and my Mother worked 3 jobs to make sure we had the things that we needed.  We were so lucky to also be able to have horses and run rodeos.  My Mom worked her ass off for us to be able to do that, but we were the poor kids in school.  We wore hand me downs and shoes with holes in them.  We lived in a run down trailer with 2 bedrooms for 4 of us.  Now, please don’t take this as me complaining or being ungrateful – My Mother did her best with what she had in an area that is unforgiving.  I just don’t want to be stretched as thin as she was.  I want to be able to give my child everything that I wanted – which really wasn’t much.  I just wanted to be able to have a CHANCE at fitting in.

There has been tons of discussion about the baby issue, however not because we were discussing how many children to have.  The discussion was if we were going to at all.  Lori has grown children from a previous heterosexual relationship. (Not sure I’ve ever mentioned this, but Lori is 19 years older than me). They are not truly in her life, but we do have some contact with them. When we got together, she was not interested in having children again, so I made the choice to be with her and not have a child. She had very valid reasons not to want to have a baby:

  • I was not ready – in the least – to be a mother.  I was quite immature and had a lot of living to do.
  • She was worried about her age – she didn’t want to be in her 60s when her child graduated from High School.
  • We were not in a very good financial situation.  We lived in a not so great part of town right outside of New Orleans and it was very often that I’d have less than a dollar in my bank account between checks.
  • We did a LOT of partying.  We were not in a group of people who had babies – our group all had grown children.  It’s hard to completely change the way that you live in that situation.

This topic even caused us to split for a while.  Lori didn’t want to keep me from doing something in my life that I wanted to do so badly.  Eventually we got back together and the baby was not an option again.

Earlier this year Lori was in the hospital because of her illness.  It was a really rough time and we didn’t think that she was actually going to make it.  Once she made it through, she had a change of heart and told me that she wanted nothing more than to have a family with me.  The conversations started then but really picked up when my cousin came out to visit with her little one.  Basically, that sealed the deal.   The next month is when we started actively trying. 🙂

So, the short answer, one child only – and we agree. 🙂

 

One Response to “I have questions!!!”

  1. isa Says:

    Aw, that’s very sweet. I’m sorry it took a serious illness to get you both on the same page, but I think that it’s great that you’re going to have a baby together! We can’t quite decide how many we want–both of us keep changing our minds!


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